Archive for March, 2009
A little field-mouse was lost in a dense wood, unable to find his way out. He came upon a wise old owl sitting in a tree. “Please help me, wise old owl, how can I get out of this wood?” said the field-mouse.
“Easy,” said the owl, “Grow wings and fly out, as I do.”
“But how can I grow wings?” asked the mouse.
The owl looked at him haughtily, sniffed disdainfully, and said, “Don’t bother me with the details, I only advise on strategy”.
No-one can really set OUR path for US, as only we know best what is best for us individually.
Take responsibility for yourself, get out of your own way, and become accountable.
Most of all? Enjoy the journey and the wings will manifest themselves.
Elaine
I was listening to a great Coach speak at the Limerick Bizcamp over the weekend, Anna Presso, and I began thinking about goal setting – something I have let go by the wayside recently, but her words resonated with me and I felt I should tell you about the beauty of Goal Setting.
What is the difference between a goal and a wish?
General Wish: “I would love to write a book some day”
General goal: “I want to write a book.”
Specific goal: “I want to write a book on time management that is at least 200 pages in length and have it done by April 16th. I’ll commit myself to writing at least 2 pages every workday until I reach completion.”
Watch your language. If you are not specific with your wording, then you are giving yourself permission not to succeed. Other goal killers are words like “I’ll try”, “I’d love to, but…”, “I wish I could do that, but…” I am sure you know where I am coming from with this.
Goal Setting is a process, and a skill that can be learned and practiced (so no excuses, right?)
Firstly, you need a SMART goal
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely
Specific - A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” questions:
I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I know):
Who: Who is involved?
What: What do I want to accomplish?
Where: Identify a location.
When: Establish a time frame.
Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
General goal: “Get in shape.” –
Specific Goal: “To lose 7 lbs and tone up, I will join a health club/gym in ****** and workout 3 days a week until Easter. I will take a weekly inventory of my diet to identify problem areas. I will walk 30 mins on good days, and exercise inside when weather is not good. I will enroll my husband to keep me accountable. I will be fit enough to run the mini marathon in June.”
Measurable / Manageable – if you cannot measure it, you cannot manage it. Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.
To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as…
How much?
How many?
How will I know when it is accomplished?
General goal: “I want to be rich.”
Measurable goal: “I want to generate $100,000 in passive income within 5 years from this date.”
Attainable / Achievable - When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.
Non-Attainable: “I want to lose 12 lbs in the next 2 weeks”
More attainable: “I want to lose 2 lbs in the first week, and then 1 lb a week for 11 weeks”
Realistic / Relevant - To be realistic, a goal must be do-able! It must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.
Unrealistic Goal: “Within one year, I want to become a warlord and have many loyal soldiers who will commit acts of terrorism on my behalf.”
Realistic Goal: “By the end of the year, I want to build a philanthropic foundation that helps feed the homeless.”
Timely – A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there’s no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 12 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? “Someday” won’t work. But if you anchor it within a time-frame, “by Jun 1st”, then you’ve set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.
Untimely Goal: “I am going to do this project.”
Timely Goal: “I am going to finish this project by 8pm tonight and I’ll achieve this deadline by spending one hour on each subject.”
T can also stand for Tangible – A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.
So now your goal is SMART, where do we go from here?
1. A goal gets you from HERE to THERE. Imagine the THERE – picture it, feel it, sense it, use your senses to experience it.
2. Decide what you want to BE, DO, and HAVE with relation to your goal. Some people have a stigma around being great, doing great things or having great things. Let’s talk about money. Some may perceive money as evil – the ruination of many a nation. Money itself is not a bad thing. It’s what you do with money that makes it good or bad. So if your motivation is to earn more or get more money, that is a good thing, and totally up to you what you do with it and how you treat or mistreat it. Anna Presso used the analogy of a knife. A knife in itself is an innocent thing. It’s what we do with the knife that matters – do we butter bread with it or do we stick it in somebody?
3. Ask yourself WHY you set that particular goal.
- Ask yourself what you will gain from achieving this goal – make an extensive list (when you think you are finished, list 5 more)
- Ask yourself what you will lose by not
achieving this goal – again make a list (stretch your imagination again on this one)
4. Internal motivation is the only lasting motivation – ensure this goal belongs to you and you are not setting it to keep or make someone else happy. Ask yourself if this goal is in tune with your reality, your visions, your values and your belief system. Ask yourself will achieving this goal make you happy, will you feel good?
5. TEST your goal – does it stretch you – will you grow as a consequence. Your answer here should be YES, if not refer back to point 4. Read it aloud to yourself and observe your emotions and reactions when you read it. If it gives you butterflies in your tummy, then YES, it is on track with you.
6. Stick to your goal and don’t change it, unless altering a portion the goal will improve the outcome for you. Changing is a consequence of distraction or procrastination, both detrimental to achieving goals.
7. Give your goal time to grow, be patient with it, become it’s friend and advocator. Watch out for shortcuts and shortfalls.
8. Plan your actions – probably the toughest part of goal setting – is acting. ACT now!!! Don’t bother waiting for the perfect time or conditions, because they will never arrive. Waiting for the perfect time is the perfect excuse for doing nothing!
Happy Acting!
Elaine
1. Take time out
To figure out what you really want to do: go back to the same type of career, take a career break, change careers, start your own business, become self-employed?
This is the perfect opportunity to look at your career now that you are not inside it. Really take stock and decide if more needs to be done before you move on to the next phase of your life.
2. Count your blessings
You may not have a job right now, but you may still have your health, a roof over your head, your family and friends supporting you. You may still have one income in the household. Remember that your career is only one aspect of your whole life.
3. Be patient
Mostly with yourself! Your job was made redundant – NOT YOU!! Don’t take it personally or it will tear you apart. Be practical about the reality of what has happened. An organisation cannot maintain their workforce, they did not decide to be rid of you personally.
4. Spend Your Redundancy Money Wisely
If you’re thinking about setting up your own business, you can use the money to buy the things you’ll need like a car and a computer. Otherwise, spend five per cent of it immediately on a treat for yourself. Spend as much as you need to sort yourself out with interview clothes. The rest could be invested (wisely) or put into a building society account, preferably one of those that requires notice of withdrawals and save it for emergencies.
5. Keep Busy
Once over the break you planned, make sure you keep busy and maintain your health. Take walks if you don’t want to spend money on a gym membership, make sure you get outdoors in the fresh air. Make it your day job to search for work. Assign so many hours each day to the task and avail of the many websites and other resources to help you in your quest to find work. Re-educate yourself on CV writing and interview techniques of the 21st Century.
6. Beware of Social Networking online
This should be used solely to get yourself “out there” and seen to be looking for work/opportunities/connections, not blandly surfing the net for no reason – make it constructive.
7. Seek assistance and help
Claim unemployment benefits if you are entitled to it to help fund your work search/break. Let your friends and family know you are available for work if you plan to re-enter the workplace. Hire the services of a Career Coach if you need some help with direction and decisions.
8. Offer your Services
Offer your services to charity or the disadvantaged to keep busy or to keep your skills up to date. This can also be very rewarding as well as provide the missing routine you had when working. It is a noble and rewarding way to spend your time, and a perfect way to give something back to the society that supports you.
9. Catalyst for personal growth
Redundancy can be used as a catalyst for personal growth. If you have been in a career for 15-20 years, it may well be time to consider your options, or take time out to learn something completely new (or maybe not so new, something you always wanted to try out).
10. Remember that you are not alone!
We have all heard the statistics over the past months. But we have survived recessions before and will experience them again. This has not just happened to you and is not a time for self-indulgence and self-pity. If you find the media depressing, stop watching the news, and don’t get dragged into negative conversations at social events or down the pub!
We all know the reality and don’t need to be reminded every minute of the day – there are enough folks out there to do the worrying. Look after yourself in the short-term with a view to long-term sustainability. And don’t forget to have some fun!!!
Namasté,
Elaine
I came across this story recently and thought I should share it so it could gain a wider audience:
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the great & picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As so on as it seemed appropriate, the other m an asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his
first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.
“Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.”
The origin of this letter is unknown.
The Power of Now is more relevant than the power of the past or future. We can only dwell on the past and fear the future to maintain negativity. This can be powerfully turned around by simply focusing on the present and treating it so – as a gift (and a gift can only be positive).
Enjoy YOUR gift,
Namasté,
Elaine
